This last weekend I allowed myself to wallow in sadness in the company of Donnie Darko, 2 cosmos, a yoga class, nachos, a lot of rain, a nap, a pile of laundry, Citizen Cope, numerous blog posts, a bad headache, self-doubt and... Kahlil Gibran.
Yet I managed to find some comfort. Because, my rule for sadness:
One Day Only!
What is it on Saturday?
Lack of exercise?
Too many thoughts?
Too much chocolate? I had one. I'm not allowed any.
It is, probably, all of that...maybe more!
The family is gone for most of the weekend...except Her Highness, she is in and out. And, I am giving myself permission to wallow in sadness.
One Day Only!
I wake up with a headache and sad.
I don't know what it is. Well...maybe I do. Thoughts about work, family, self-doubt...other stuff. No! Not a hangover!
I try to remedy each with 2 ibuprofen and yoga class, respectively. And, each is remedied temporarily.
Rain outside. Thoughts inside. Work, family, self-doubt...other stuff. I decide to watch the pile of laundry like it's gonna fold itself. The eyes go back and forth from rain...beautiful...to laundry...disaster... from laundry to rain. The rain doesn't stop. Laundry doesn't fold.
One Day Only!
I nap. I dream. A short respite. I wake up...the day is half over. It's still raining. I'm still thinking. Laundry still unfolded.
One Day Only!
I go to the blogosphere to find humor, inspiration or some company in my misery. Citizen Cope plays over and over again as I search on the internet for humor, inspiration...and a little company for my misery. I try all. I find two.
Inspiration.
Misery. And even more Misery!
No humor.
No relief.
Only perpetuation.
One Day Only!
The song, Mad World, has been running through my mind all week...the slow version of the Tears for Fears song...dark and beautiful all at the same time. I find that the slower version is used in the film, Donnie Darko, a film I have heard of before but know nothing about. I netflix it. I watch it. Though a great film, Darko serves as, yet, one more companion to my misery. And one messed up teenager, a monster-bunny and big gigantic plane engine falling through a roof later...well, more bleakness sets in.
Accompanying my Darko-fest was my nacho-feast. I made them myself. Solace in nachos? Nope!
One Day Only!
At the end of the day, I pull out the big guns. I reacquaint myself with Kahlil Gibran's book of Treasured Writings and cosmopolitan martinis...two. Gibran is one of my sources for living, love, contemplation, and, sometimes, misery. I read. I read stories about misery, rules on living, messages in contemplation and finish with thoughts on love. In that, I find some solace before the day's end. I get up, turn out the lights, crawl back into bed, and remind myself once before I fall asleep.
One Day Only!
Sunday, I woke up early to the dawn of a new day. I got out of bed. I got myself to the gym. It was a fantastic day...from start to end. I was back to feeling hopeful. I was back to feeling confident. I was back to feeling happy. Because on that one day before, Saturday, I gave myself permission to wallow in sadness for...
One Day Only!
Ciao for now!
k
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