So here I write.
My youngest son, "A," 15 years old, came to me earlier in the week with $1.29 in change in a small makeshift hand basket; a few dimes, a lot of nickels, and plenty of pennies, and asked me if he could buy a song off of I-Tunes. I asked, "Which song?" He answered, "A song from the movie Inception." You see, he scraped up coins he found dumped in his dresser, fallen behind his bed, and left in his pockets, just to buy a song. He had spent his allowance for January already and couldn't wait until February 1st when I hand over the "dole." He's required to budget his money throughout the month and spend it however he wishes...movies, friend's gifts, extra food or candy, music, video games, etc. He only gets a small amount and he budgets pretty well. It's the last week of January so it's hardly unusual that by now his wallet is empty.
He would much prefer to have a job!
Before I answered "yes," it struck me how unwavering he is with his strengths in character. This is not the first time he has asked with money in hand, ready to pay me for the song.....it's EVERY TIME.
He knows my I-Tunes password.
- He could have bought the song, see if I would notice, and, most likely get away with not paying.
- He could have bought the song, waited until I noticed, and then offered to pay me when he gets his allowance.
- He could have bought the song and told me that he was paying me back when he gets his allowance.
Yet, he did none of that!
He chose to see what he could do within the confines of what his meaning of character allowed. He could have tricked me. He knows that. He could have begged me. He knows that. He could have manipulated me. He knows that.
He showed honesty and respect.
Not taking it for granted this time, I told him that his consistent honesty is always appreciated and never goes without notice. This, I tell him, is an example of great character. And great character earns great trust which leads to many benefits for a great life.
I felt generous. I wanted to reward him. This time I would pay for the song. He smiled. He thanked me. And he purchased his song.
Well....he's 15...of course, he learns fast! He came right back with the money again. "Can I get another song?" He winked. I laughed. I paid for that one too.
Ever since those moments, I have not been able to help but ponder and question my own character. I like to believe I have many character strengths. Nevertheless, could they be improved? Am I always consistent, even in the face of challenge? Am I always consistent, even when unnoticed? Am I always consistent with keeping my word...to others?...to myself? Do I live up to my full potential? Am I true to myself? Do I consistently respect the rules? Do I consistently treat others with kindness and respect? Considerate? Am I honest with others? With myself? Do I waver at times and when?
I've certainly played the devil's advocate to my character. I've challenged, stretched the boundaries and, of course, reeked a little havoc with a bit of naughty rebellion back in the day. Nothing horrendous. However, I have learned something by this stage of life. When I stretch those boundaries to beyond where my mind knows better and, more importantly, my heart knows better, it never fails that I am filled with shame, uncertainty and fear. That's when I know I've wavered away from good character. Character, as it means to me.
I have a friend who just recently shared with me her resolution for the new year. She plans, in 2011, to take everything up another notch..."intensification," I believe she called it. Maybe I can address taking my strengths in character up a notch? Improve myself? Improve with others? Which strengths need more work than others? Will this lead me to living an even greater life with richer experiences and deeper relationships? And how?
I think it's time, again, to put in a little more practice.
So.....
Thanks "A" for this week giving me...
Thoughts to chew on!
Because there are always things to improve upon!
Ciao for now!
k
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